I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
