Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
