What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
