Your mouth is God's brothel.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
You can't just leave with hair like that
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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