It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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