But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I think a kid would responsible me up
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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