I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
