Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
