Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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