Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
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