Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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