If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Randomize
