Pregnant stripper...not hot.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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