ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
