Buhtt sex?
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
