You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Randomize
