I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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