Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
