Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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