Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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