I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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