yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
