Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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