I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
