She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
