Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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