I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
