I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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