im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
