I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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