Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize
