Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
