I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Can't talk, ducks in the car
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