Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
