so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
