Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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