Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Randomize
