Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
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