Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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