I think my vagina is haunted
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Randomize
