dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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