If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
You took a bar mat shot.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
