I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
