he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
