The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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