by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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