I want to walk on stilts...naked
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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