Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
