I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
