You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
